Kerrious

When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air

Archive for the tag “metaphor”

I’ve Learned; Living With the Enemy

Not easily persuaded,

thought I’d give it a try.

When my world grew old

the new emerged,

not because I hadn’t looked before

but because I took notice more.

It was what I had asked for, can no longer ignore.

As my tolerance grew thin

it became a catalyst, and I won’t take anymore.

Sure, you seemed harmless

yet I knew right away

because I could hear every word

and feel everything,

although you didn’t know,

because it was always about you.

All who want a good listener or audience

yet fail to hear or see anyone else.

In the presence of others,

I could see some falling for it too.

It seemed like escaping from a spider web

but not wanting to kill the spider.

It’s like seeing the spider alluring its prey

but knowing it shouldn’t be stopped.

It’s like the spider who moves in great haste 

because you disturbed its web, its illusion.

Although it may bite, I won’t absorb its poison.  

Rejecting all that does harm to me.

Some choose to weave a web

with delicate precision;

as intricate as the lies they tell

for others to run into,

but not all are trapped

and not all can see the web they run into,

only the means to escape

as no plea for help will suffice.

Sometimes we fight our way out just in time

sometimes we get caught,

and sometimes we defeat the spider 

despite the fact it mistook us for prey.

We hold no resentment towards it,

no plans for revenge.

Instead, we choose to heal ourselves

while letting the spider go.

I know because I have tried

and always find out,

the inevitable can’t be prevented

and minds can’t be swayed,

one must already be aware of the truth

and believe in themselves enough

to see through the disguise.

Playing to the tune of my empathy

becomes the first mistake.

Then mistaking it for weakness

becomes the last misconception,

With understanding comes the realization

there is no real power through manipulation.

I thought you had the gift,

but only used it to cause harm

to all others for your hopeless gain,

but you weren’t aware

it was only harm to yourself….

Therein lies the irony,

for the selfish can’t even see it,

or the ones they are hurting.

Guess I had to live with the enemy
in order to understand it more.

To put into words…

And there I found the resolution to it all;

All those who have sought me out

for some selfish yet severely delusional

thought of taking advantage.

I’m prepared for the rumors, stories, and misunderstandings.

There’s always been someone like you,

I have let into my life, but not anymore.

Although I prevail you will stay the same,

and those thoughts you hold about me

will also stay the same because it’s too much

to come to terms with yourselves.

Go ahead and project onto me

blame me for your problems,

try to hurt me because you are hurting.

Although your delusions tell you it’s working,

doesn’t mean I believe you,

and I can’t say I didn’t try to help even after I warned you.

(Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved).

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I’ve Learned; Be True to Yourself

here we are
in a land so small
fighting for a world
so big
how big is not a question
to me
it’s happening
on the outside
yet I feel it
everywhere
on the inside
where does one begin?
to distinguish
the outside
from the inside?
and I can only imagine
it expands as vast
as the individual
allows it.
it begins
and ends
with knowing
yourself.
Then seeing it
everywhere else
but not in an
egotistical way
not from your
experiences alone,
but in a way
that connects you
to all of life.
because you realize
the truth
about yourself
in a way that
relates to the bigger picture
and you become
a part of it all
with nature,
responsibility intact,
because that is
who you always were
someone just waiting
waiting
for their turn
to contribute
to the world
in a way that
allowed you
to be true
true to yourself.
once found,
the waiting is over
and the time
has come
to utilize
all that you have learned
all that you have been waiting to do,
the wait was long
but
only revealed the tools you possess,
that will defeat
all that was holding you back;
the strength
the will
the intention
for seeking
that led you
to a life
in which
you can be
true
true to yourself.

(Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved.)


(photo copyrights)

http://anabagayan.bigcartel.com/product/callisto-original-painting

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ana-Bagayan/63234728104

love her work, love to share.

I’ve Learned; Inner Children

like a child
I always was
I fought a two year old
which made me sick
I met a five year old
and it made me angry,
disillusioned
I saw an eight year old
remembered I was smarter
said goodbye to a thirteen year old
made me happy
feeling sixteen again
opened my eyes
to the past
I had summoned
no longer sixteen
I turned nineteen
and it made me shy
twenty-one
no longer alone
twenty-two
wondering why
not one adult helped
twenty-three
help yourself
twenty-four
done keeping score
then I was twenty-seven
and a woman who knew
none of those ages
were really her
not really
they returned
to let me know
what I was feeling
wasn’t me at all
but a projection
of others
those inner children
and to this day
they all provoke
a strength; my true age
that can’t be hidden
because no matter the age
my inner children prevail
to grow
strange how you forget
or never know
with time I grow stronger
never weaker
I am a woman
who disciplines
her inner children
because
she loves them
and herself enough
to save the children.

(Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved)

kids-save-the-world

Near Death, Closer to Life

As I walked up,

up to a familiar figure,

a manly figure and a unique face.

Comfort set in, no longer alone,

he asked to walk further,

along beside me.

I began my self-pity

my loathing inside,

He insisted I was insane,

That I’ve been on the right path.

Nothing came from my mouth,

stunned to hear these facts.

Everyone has something,

you must find yours, he said.

Perplexed was my gaze,

my mind put at ease.

As we entered our destination,

I noticed to my right,

friends gathered, grieving together.

Why aren’t I there too?

Strange, I thought.

We approached a man

wearing all black,

I felt the feeling of loss.

Too concerned with the grieving,

I began to walk away from the man,

Away from the plot.

I took a glance back and saw his distraught.

Unsettled and slightly withdrawn,

I approached the table of friends,

saw me, they did not.

I felt invisible,

and they were consoling one another.

I tried to speak, but realized

I was not there.

In spirit yes, but in body-no

A bright light engulfed my vision,

I tried harder to stare,

my focus slowly became clearer.

As my senses awoke,

All six of them with a jolting shock,

Immense curiosity inflicted anticipation,

Then I could see what was in the light,

An almost holy face appeared,

facing away from me.

It turned, as if in slow motion,

It couldn’t be real.

It began to open its mouth,

as if to speak,

but only fear and surprise it could see.

And it made him smile.


 

It began some time ago,

Vividness so surreal,

Life force I could feel,

Engulfed my soul with peace and love.

Until now those words I could only draw,

And there was nothing to trouble my spirit.

I walked beside you,

Though I knew not of you.

You answered my subconscious diversity,

But not one word was spoken,

Only a realization and understanding assumed.

I walked with you still,

To a neighboring void,

A look to my right that left me completely spaced from your existence,

And with this space created a disconnection,

To the source of this new found confirmation.

And as I turned to look,

You starred back with utter confusion.

And with that one look I knew,

Something greater had taken me from the him,

The source of light you had given me.

And perhaps it was mine, even for that lost moment in space.

All my thoughts were defined with precise parallelism,

The shadows dissipated with only a touch,

But it was mine, it was mine for just that moment.

Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved.

(written in 2008)

A lot goes on without my physical touch.

The evidence isn’t much.

Cabinets open,

Emptiness shows a metaphor

for my lack of care.

Not for you,

but for me.

Try to find me,

you can share.

You’re all self-absorbed,

I breathe it like air.

Laying your angst on my shoulders,

but you wouldn’t dare learn

to make it any better.

Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved.

(written in 2008)

and she describ…

and she described depression as if it was a bright eyed child, hovering over her body, asking what went wrong, over and over, again.child

 

Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved.

(written in 2009).

To stop running I must jump. Then I thought, I need to jump! I need to jump off that cliff. That cliff I thought i was avoiding was actually the one thing I needed to do. Just jump already I thought. but the problem is we think we’ve already jumped too many times. Can’t we just stay up here for a while? But that is nonsense and we know it. Always be willing to jump. Know that is your destination and not something to be feared. The funny thing is a part of us always knew this, kept it close. But it really just puts thing more into perspective, reminds you of a lot of things. Wondering how they do it so well? But yet I always prevail. And so I began to fall….just one more time.

Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved

What I’ve Learned From the Rose

We even deny roses have thorns when we display them or give them as thoughtless gifts. Because we want to get rid of that which is painful and unpleasant and only see the beauty, the pretty things. But what we do to ourselves when we do such a thing is forget we need both of them in order to have a complete and true rose, to let them have their place out from the stem. We need the painful parts of things and to really see them, in order to get to the beauty. We need the thorns in order to appreciate the rose but yet so often we wish we could have the beauty without the pain, that we can have one without the other. But we can’t possibly, instead we lie to ourselves and pretend it doesn’t exist, going against nature until nature conforms. We deny nature therefore we deny ourselves. We can’t accept everything that we are and the nature of it all. They say it’s unfortunate most roses have thorns but all I can say is I wish to never see a rose without a thorn ever again. Because I resemble that rose, and I need that protection, something to ward off those who wish to grab me up just to watch me die, dry up, and crumble apart. They all instantly want the rose pedals but resent the thorns once they have been pricked. But what did they expect? Their perspective is deceiving, believing just because the rose seems innocent does not make it naive. And they want the beauty without the pain but it does not work that way. They can’t understand they can’t just hold the beauty in their hand without first reaching inside to grab it.They can’t just pick a rose that already bloomed when they themselves haven’t even planted the seed. And they can’t understand just what it took to blossom into those pedals or how something so precious can hurt so bad. But I can. I understand just how much you need those thorns because they’d do anything to take all those pedals away. To devour or admire. To mistake your appearance and good qualities for naivety or that it’s a weakness. Either way they mustn’t mistake my beauty for something they can take for themselves unless they are willing to feel the pain.The same pain that formed the thorns long ago to protect me from those who saw me as something to prey on or from being a display on a table or desk, completely without thorns, for I know my nature. Just as innocent, delicate, and gentle the rose can be is just as strong, bold, and fierce it can be too.

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Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved.

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