Kerrious

When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air

Archive for the tag “forgetting”

I’ve Learned; Inner Children

like a child
I always was
I fought a two year old
which made me sick
I met a five year old
and it made me angry,
disillusioned
I saw an eight year old
remembered I was smarter
said goodbye to a thirteen year old
made me happy
feeling sixteen again
opened my eyes
to the past
I had summoned
no longer sixteen
I turned nineteen
and it made me shy
twenty-one
no longer alone
twenty-two
wondering why
not one adult helped
twenty-three
help yourself
twenty-four
done keeping score
then I was twenty-seven
and a woman who knew
none of those ages
were really her
not really
they returned
to let me know
what I was feeling
wasn’t me at all
but a projection
of others
those inner children
and to this day
they all provoke
a strength; my true age
that can’t be hidden
because no matter the age
my inner children prevail
to grow
strange how you forget
or never know
with time I grow stronger
never weaker
I am a woman
who disciplines
her inner children
because
she loves them
and herself enough
to save the children.

(Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved)

kids-save-the-world

And they couldn’t believe I existed. That is what stuck out. The way that they looked at me with eyes that became wider and wider with disbelief yet relief. As moments before they were sprinting up the hill until my dog stopped barking when they slowly turned around and paced slowly towards us. As I had to focus on the reality that surrounded me, I heard “They do exist!” As if we both thought it at the same time. They with me and I with them. As it was an instinctual reaction for us all.  I perched up with excitement and they turned the other way. Slowly, they walked instead of ran out of fear. I said to look out for the lights and an understanding ensued.

And it was something they had to see for themselves. Beside a dog that used to bark. Now that dog no longer barks but understands to share the territory. After all, it was theirs too and she knows now. But just like them, I too have to see for myself. They recognized their own but forgot it existed. Even nature needs reminders that others are there. And I see it everyday. Not just from me but like them I had to see it for myself. I am like the deer.

Copyright 2014 Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved.

Dark Nights of the Soul

The night was dark

and so was I

morning wasn’t any better

A reflection

from inside of me

everywhere I looked

nothing changed

I could not get out of it

although it happened suddenly

without much warning

I recognized it again

a familiar friend

eliminated as a foe

I recognized once more

it’s always a bit disappointing

quite easy to blame myself

although it doesn’t stay as long

I’m always forgetting

to just remember

remember what it was

that got me through

remember what I did

that got me here

I began to remember

to let go

it’s out of my control

the solution is not inside my head

but nothing concrete at all

it comes with time

and surrender

it always hurts

and shatters my world

into tiny little parts

but once those fall away

they are replaced

with much more

so much more

I just need to remember

it isn’t a punishment

but what I have asked for

If only I can remember

(Copyright 2014 Kerrious with All Rights Reserved)

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