Kerrious

When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air

Archive for the tag “automatic writing”

I’ve Learned; Universal Donors

Universal Donor; are we?

Universal Pride!

Laid in the hands of what was left,

fighting like rats?

You in the corner? or we who are free?

Like rats backed into a corner

scratching the surface

too afraid to move

Yet willing to die instead, you were.

But you forgot and I don’t blame you

Just stop digging is all I ask.

Everything’s gonna be okay.

Universal flight

universal sight

and my love for you is infinite

just like your might

just like you, my favorites

universal donors yet universal truth

Please don’t be afraid, I Love you……

For I feel in love with humans

and all the secrets they hold

especially from themselves

and how they do it so well

and how I am not like them but I Love them.

What’s in the blood

They can’t take my blood

transfusions…

of my own design

good deeds unnoticed,

while others take the credit

silly people with even sillier brains.

(copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved).

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I’ve Learn; Control

Control over men

you shouldn’t obtain

control over yourself

mission incomplete

you like what you tasted

but did nothing with it

that’s not the rules to my game.

But I understand

and have been away

to only come back

with the words to say

it’s not like us to demand control

it’s not like us to want so much more

it’s not like me to hold on

it’s not like you to let go.

There is no control

of your own making

succumb to a woman

while we wait

you play catch up.

See what they did to you

turned you into?

Something that’s not even true

just because they couldn’t understand you?

But we are here, while they fear themselves only

to say

This time it’s for real

There’s a lot of things you can’t control.

(Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; Unpredictablity

Life’s unpredictability has taught us not to trust

But then since life is unpredictable

we develop habits…..

humans are unpredictable too

which causes everyone not to trust

due to unpredictability of the future,

even if the person hasn’t done anything

the looming feeling is still there

because that is what still happened

(copyright Kerrious44 2014 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; Dreamer

I do not have writer’s block,

I am just scared of what I’d find.

Millions of unanswered questions and thousands of solutions.

Finding the positive in even the worse situations.

How can I be like this?

I took it all and made it something grand.

I took all your flaws and told you you were a man.

I was lying to myself first and then to you.

I didn’t want to puncture this picture I drew.

I let you in and hated that fact.

I didn’t want to turn back.

I had done it before, a dozen times before.

Never thought you’d be the one to betray me.

No matter what I do I just can’t win.

I lost it all before and this time it’s okay.

I knew all along and should have listened to my instincts.

Why do I attract the likes of you?

They say it’s because I’m a good person and parasites need to feed.

But I absorb myself into love so much that I think that it’s me.

I hope you could see. I hope I could just be me.

I hope I can remember this feeling forever.

I am alive. I am happy.

My soul has been made intact and how that happened, I really don’t know.

Something happened in a year to make me feel whole again.

Yes, sometimes I get sad and lonely, but I know it’s for the best.

I have learned so much and can only feel more.

I am not crazy, not by your terms.

I tried to label myself for too long.

I am evolving. Why me? It’s out of my control.

Maybe I made the decision years ago.

It has been so long since I’ve wrote anything. I am tired of holding it all in. but honestly I have nothing to write. That is the scary thing. I am changing. I do not know why. I want to write. But I dream instead.

(Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved). written in 2013. mapping out my awakening in order to help others find their way.

Think Happy Thoughts: A Short Story from the Subconscious

She stood at the end of the road with thoughts of you. She never quite got it right. It wasn’t until later when she would realize all of this was happening. No one quite got it and that is what she feared. Although some could, but would never admit it. They like their shells and wouldn’t come out any time soon. So she thought maybe she would walk farther, but wasn’t sure what you would think. She picked up a leaf that looked quite strange. It radiated green, orange, and red colors. Almost tied-dyed, if a leaf could ever be. That’s why she picked it up because she noticed things like that. She didn’t realize that wasn’t supposed to happen. She carried it with her and gazed down towards the trees. She thought the trees gave her oxygen and that they controlled us with that. The thought of something that wasn’t real but could be scared her. Why aren’t they superior? She thought, as she let out a little cough. She knew no one that could answer that question or even lead her in the right direction. So she kept walking and she could never quite get it right. You popped up again in her mind, only this time it had changed. Pleasant thoughts turned to unpleasant thoughts. Surreal memories turned to erased images. She tried to piece it together, the nights you were there. She didn’t know where they went, only that they had gone. She wished they were there, but knew she had used them up. Dissecting thoughts is the way it expands. She longed for expression, in the simplest forms; though she never quite got it right. She came to a dead end, but made it something more. Looking around, glad no one was around. It’s you and me she thought. She picked up a rock, shaped much like a heart. She wanted to show it, but had no one to show it to. This threw her off guard, why she didn’t know. So she was happy to have found it, but only wished she could have shared it. So she kept it and turned around, and continued in the opposite direction. As she walked back from where she came from, a relapse occurred. Thoughts of you settled in her mind. Who are you? She thought, as a drop of rain crashed on her forehead. She had no protection, but she didn’t care. We were meant to feel the rain, meant to breathe this air. As she looked up at the sky, she of coursed asked why. Now these days aren’t so bad, with all its abundance. She kept her pace, and continued to where she started. She dreamed of the day someone could answer these questions. To know she wouldn’t drown in her thoughts. Now the road got narrow and the trees taller. The sun got hotter, the rain fewer, and the night much quieter. She wishes the feeling would stay longer. It’s expected, but still she waited. The thoughts slowly faded and took you with them. She wandered towards the beginning and she took a look back. Something she told herself she would never do. She turned her head around, and stepped into a place she had to go. She left all the thoughts behind her. For once she got it right.

-written in 2008, Think Happy Thoughts.

(Copyright 2014 Kerrious with All Rights Reserved)

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