When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air

But I wasn’t afraid to start right away. I wasn’t afraid to walk out in the open and let it be known. I didn’t have to hide or play pretend. That u had to observe me not the other way around and I understood u but not the other way around which makes me the new not you. But anything different or new u kill. Yet I still walk and u haven’t changed.


What my old soul knows in order to break the cycle is to no longer go at alone but to include one other would break the cycle of doing it alone. That I do not need another to reach where I’ve been or where I come from but to allow one other to go there with me is actually breaking a chain to create one that is better. One of the Gods. Tear down the old to build the new and to include you would be easy yet I’m prone to not so prove me wrong. Take your place beside me just by being you and knowing that is your destiny that we align don’t forfeit it with the world as is it but a future world where we cease to exist and plan on it.

So much I keep from you little boy blue because in the end there will be two.

Since u kissed me and called me girlfriend with a spark your fate led to be a blue kachina dancing in the plaza with only one in attendance. Yet you didn’t even know your part. Shall we choose love between two or transcend to a greater purpose? That dancing is short term but infinity is to gain in the form of one. Good luck. Shall we dance?

I love you because you open the last parts of me; the least accepted

I know you are not because I ask and I do not receive

Dear God

I pray

That someday

I won’t feel this way

Like something went wrong

Like a dark night of the soul

I can come through

The tunnel

Into the light

Night after night

Day after day

I’ll pray

To be shown the way

Where I can be content

In knowing

And not having to explain

To myself

This road less taken

As if I was mistaken

Instead of staying true

To you

I wonder

That since God knows

What they did to me is what

They’d do to him

I wonder why I don’t turn

To the enemy

Because they were never mine enemy

To begin with

Never did I listen

Or do what they say

And since they aren’t my enemy

I can’t even turn to them in vengeance

Towards God

Not even out of anger

Can I….

And Therein lies the mystery

His mystery

To protect me

But when I try to find some selfish part

Of God

It is the not knowing

I’m not used to

It is the lack

Of communication

But I see…

That even when I try to find a way

To rage war with God

I cannot

I can try to hurt myself to spite him

But after being saved

What’s the point

I can beg for death

I can beg not to exist

I can lash out

But I’m still stuck here

And by no accord did I have to learn that

But I really don’t want to be here

And that is the selfish part of God

Not taking me

That his plans have to be unfolding

To keep me here

Yet I don’t care

I have to train myself to give a shit

Yet there’s beauty

That makes me

Not some promise of a future

But the need to follow through

On his individual plans with me

That only I understand

A deep seeded unforgiveness

Lurks in the souls

Of those

Who can remember

Yet their pre emptive attack

And lack of trust

Has created a self fulfilling prophecy

Where real prophets have no fear

Or war towards God

No conspiracy in private

To defeat God

When they had thousands of years

To heal and forgive

That’s the difference between

Me and them

I have worked hard to heal

And understand

Not let it build up

Into hatred and evil character

But that was my work

I was willing to share



And it was something

They didn’t want to hear

Then why ask me?

Only to degrade me

And treat me as if I was God

And do to my body

What you’d wish to do to Gods

That proving God right in the end

Built my faith

An unburied knowing

Inside of me

A waking me up

To the time it was

That it’s no coincidence

But they use the knowing

To plot against God

And I to fight for him

And why does that make me their enemy?

When I gave them all the tools

To heal

And feel what I do

Yet in reality

They don’t know

And didn’t know

That when they deny Christ

And miracles

They set themselves up for failure

That not denying Christ

Is even for their benefit

Not ego

Everything I did too

Was for their benefit



As their enemy?

That God does know everything

Wasn’t it he that prepared me?

Gave me the ability

To warn?

Yet I watched them descend

Yet saw Gods love

For everyone

Even the worst

Was the same love I had

But what makes this a new cycle

For me

Is I am only loyal to God

And not them


That I’ll be the angel

Doubting God


He shows his power

In the form

Of surprising me

But what the ending says

Is that I stayed true to myself

All the way through

Never sacrificing

What I said in the beginning

That I am peace

So it will prevail

And I am love

So it will prevail

That I can fought

But am the victor


Who I was in the beginning

Is who I am now

That fear cannot mold me

Only fuel them

To not believe

Again and again

Yet I

Do not care anymore

And through the war

I learned

Not to care


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