When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air

I went to church and heard satan snarl in church. Def demonic. Def has a hatred for the church. It’s not satan’s will, satan, it’s GOD’S WILL. Why doesn’t he get it. Everyone doesn’t like you because you are ignorant and know us not at all! You have no idea what it’s like to be human and be love. You falsely accuse us in front of GOD who has already told me everything i need to know to fight against you. GOD prepared me for this but why would you believe me when you’re so hell bent on falsely accusing me of sin?

Fuck off.


It’s like alcohol filled all my needs

My lover

My friend

My buddy

My pal

My everything

And now i have nothing

No one to turn to

No where to run

There’s no escape

It’s all or nothing

I never denied myself alcohol

If I wanted to drink

I was drinking

I’d go it get it

With just the thought of it

The physical cravings

Are too much

My brain is reaching

For another drink

My poison

Dear god,

I got a sponsor in AA and we are going to talk tonight about things. It will be nice. I don’t have much to say but hopefully with time i will open up. I hope you can trust me, i know i rebelled because i didn’t think you loved me the way i wanted to be loved. But what do i know about love anyway , you will show me the real way real love. You will show me with time and if i follow you into the kingdom of heaven i will have a better life and be happy and can have a house. I hope you forgive me. Satan is a burden i can’t stand. So sick. You’re sick.

I hate you.

I love you.



Your presence my god is all i need, no words. Thank you.

I’m so excited i went to an AA meeting in person and got a chip with the serenity prayer on it saying women in recovery. I’ve been to several meetings online. I’m going everything. Now i look forward to meetings instead of drinking but i still crave, I’m craving right now to have a beer in my hand and take drink of it but i will now! Everything is ok. I can feel myself healing. Wanting to accomplish my goals and liking my job. Everything is coming together. Gia had pajama day at daycare today so i washed hers last night so she could wear them today for the pajama party. She deserves the world. I love you Gia.

You should be able to choose who you want to be around and who you don’t want to be around. Maybe I’m the failure in God’s world but he is the failure in mind. Mine I am important and I don’t need God to tell me that I know I matter and I don’t need God to show me that.I don’t need somebody intruding in my life that is only going to bring destruction and chaos and dirtiness. I don’t have to be open minded I can just make my decisions and stick to them and no one’s going to change them. Nobody can change me nobody can change my mind no I will not open it for God. He’s already done enough damage. I believe in something way better I believe I come from way better than what I’ve been shown by God.As such selfishness God is such selfishness that’s his identity is selfishness. His only motive is to be selfish and please himself and when you won’t be into as well he says the devil well what if I’m not of God but of another planet? That’s a huge universe out there and I am not governed by a judge mental asshole. I believe in Jesus ChristAnd I believe in myself. I believe inside me is all the tools that I need and it’s not rebellious but rather gods rebellious. I’ll see what I need to say and do what I need to do and I think all the enemies know they can’t stop me because they’ve already tried. They can’t stop me from living from mattering.There is a higher power no matter how hard they try to claim it. These enemies are not connected to source they have no source in them, they are just self serving assholes trying to play god.

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