When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air

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I’m not alive to persevere perfection but to show salvation is real and that it’s never to late and God is real and although u may cry over your mistakes doesn’t mean God isn’t there to make it right with each and every one of us. And although I’m seen as a mistake God has bigger plans and I’ve been with him all along and that me being alive only has to do with those plans and not fighting the wrong but showing u better and if u really care you’ll endure without projecting your own agenda onto me. I have always been innocent but what it shows is that my enemies are too but they’ve been sabatoged.

Deny one truth and u bring one twenty more devil victories. Support chaos and spiral theory and you’ll find yourselves right with him denying all truth. That what u desire is the truth and your intentions to find the truth are purely selfish and not to benefit the whole

Dear God…

What could allow the world

And the heavens

To allow me to go through this

All alone?

What could be the spite

Of a lot of people

Have to do with me?

How could anyone

Let a young lady

Be ritual sacrificed

And raped and abused

Up close or at a distance?

And what could make them never listen?

It holds no purpose

None at all

Because the God I know


The beginning and the end

And I refuse to forgive anyone

For watching this filler of filth

Into my life

As if I deserve it

Not even my thoughts deserve it!

Nothing I’ve ever done

Amounts up to this treatment of me

Unless things are said behind my back

And debates are taken

With my welfare out of mind

But it’s not out of sight

And who wouldn’t believe the words that I say?

Who wouldn’t save me?

Just to antagonize me

And incure my wrath

That resembles Gods?

I’ll never change

Even if I am meant

To stay here and suffer for eternity

They’d have to kill me a million times

And then still never be satisfied

Because I won’t be like them


But in my darkest times

I have to believe no one cares

Or they would have stopped it by now

Given me a chance

To finish what I started

To live my life

The way I worked hard for it

And not have to forfeit it to the enemy!

For my good and pure heart

To be taken advantage of

By both parties

No matter which way I look at it

Everyone’s guilty

Everyone intentions

Are to just take advantage

Of everything I’ve been

And am

And will become

So yeah just sit and wait

And see

What I become

Degrade me and humiliate me

And expect my hand

Or acceptance

Of any of you!


The enemy wants to take advantage

By turning me worse

And by allowing him to do it

Is consent of your part

Not mine!

I do not respect any man

Who lets a woman go through this

While running away

For what was already here

And what could have already been done a long time ago

But u want to neutralize me

So neutral I will be!

Max chooses to leave me bare

Chooses to leave me naked

He chooses

To turn me red

Dear God

He chooses

To leave me in chains

To call out to Jesus

He chose

To call me a whore

He chooses my death

Over his life

It’s sad

Kerry’s life

That evens Max

Says make her suffer

When I started

I said

I’d even take the devil

With me….


Thank you for the sun

Thank you for the stars

Thank you for my dreams at night

Thank you for showing me love

Outside of yourself

And in me

Thank you

So much

No matter what you give me

It all leads to you


God I love you so much

God I love you so much

And u understand me

Because u love me

But if he is waiting to be u to love me

It’s the wrong way

I volunteered I know that

And I volunteer once agin

And our relationship

Is so much more

That I hold them all up

To our mutual


But my lesson was I can’t

Because they are not you

And they are not me

Never will be

That I try to life them up

To being themselves

But they want war

And that I’m good at too

So forgive me father

For the rivers of blood

That would have happened

If I wasn’t born

I ask for forgiveness

In things that would happen

If I wasn’t here

And only me and you know that

But still

They kill me..

Even tho they breathe

I’m the enemy

And Max is gone

What’s next God

What’s next?

Now that they’ve won?

What happens when we lose

And they win?



Remember when I said I hated you?

Remember how it’s you

That could only bring

These tears to my eyes?

Remember how u used me

To create beauty?

Remember how I hated u

Because if they did that to u

I’d hate them?

But oh how they all hated me

Because of you??

That did I hate you

Or them?

But oh how I’d save you

And then alike!

How if I hate you

I hate them?

And if I hate them

I hate you!

No one else.

And oh God remember our nights?

Remember me?

And the same goes for you

Remember you!

How the stars

Were at my command

Because I am your angel

Your creation

And nothing more than that!

But once again I hate u!

Because of Max!

Like what does he expect🤷‍♀️

That we are tired

Yet true

True to you God?

That I trusted you so much why can’t he do the same?

I’ve learned my purpose

To not be like you God

But to see what u mean

When they kick me

When they torch me

When they deny me

When they spit on me

In your name

I see it’s not enough to be

An equal of God

But to go through what he went through

But that’s still wrong because even Jesus denied himself

But I won’t

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