Kerrious

When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air

Archive for the category “self improvement”

I’ve Learned; Heaven

I told you I was going to heaven

and all you could do was say

you wanted to stay

to eat the souls of the living.

The souls of all those

who couldn’t find their way

towards heaven…

Like a fish

you were willing

to swim in the abyss.

As the light consumed my mind

I did not go.

Like a bug who goes to the light

I put up a fight

like the insect who died

by going to the light

I used that reasoning

to not go that night.

I didn’t trust it

all the while

looking at the sun

with my bare eyes

as if it was normal

and I knew that couldn’t be right.

I’m still not sure

what you wanted me for

except maybe I was ready

to move on…

to let go of everything

except some were holding on

to me.

Now I know it’s not about letting go

but it’s about needing others to let you go

in the end.

Even the love from your dog

can save you

The love of your mother

can bring you back

and just like that

I was brought back.

Heaven will have to wait

I was so close to the gate

but for now

I’ll bring back what I found

because for others

it can be profound.

 

(copyright Kerrious 2015 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; Shadows

You came to me

at my most vulnerable time

shadows lurking in my room

not quite awake

and not quite asleep

trying to take my innocence away

I still remember that day.

You were standing in the doorway

while another was lurking in the corner

like a hunchback

if I ever saw one.

The shadows were everywhere

because I was weak and hurt

that just shows you are afraid

afraid of my presence

and what I can do naturally.

Some search for it

while others are naturals

it’s easy to get rid of you

and all the creeping around you did

as I was pulled from your arms

I let you know

you can’t take away my innocence

or my ability to grow.

You had something in your hands

you were trying to intimidate me with

but as I awoke

you disappeared

you have no power here.

I know you’re type

the ones who see me as vulnerable

to only take advantage at my weakest

but I am weak no more

I survived the shadows

of those who wish to do harm

or showed me I am not the darkness

but I am the light

a natural light

who defeated you

in my room on that night.

 

(copyright Kerrious 2015 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; Ocean

The ocean can play tricks on you

lurking shadows

mistaken as jellyfish

who wash up on the shore

for us to look at

to really see them

as they are.

Translucent and fragile

yet swift and magical,

looking like big raindrops,

another trick the ocean beholds.

Dolphins swimming out beyond

the length you can’t go

but they look closer

closer than they seem

all I want

is to swim out to them

or for them to come closer.

But I just admire their journey

and follow them with my eyes

and to my surprise

I see a shark from the pier

and some stingrays too

it’s so beautiful

and insightful….

just as healing as the ocean can be

is just as surprising it can be too.

Just as calming it can be

is just as alarming it can be too.

I know the ocean does not belong to me

it belongs to those animals I see

I remain vigilant in your territory

just as you are with mine.

My vibrations ring out

to let you know

I’m not afraid

instead we become one

together in the vast waters

of the ocean

that you and me call home.

 

(copyright Kerrious 2015 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; Blaming God

Now I know why I started to get mad at God

because when I would talk about him

people would tell me to be quiet.

They wouldn’t believe a word I said

although I was just talking

not forcing them to believe.

I began to be angry

when something I knew was true

was being laughed at

or pushed aside

as if I was crazy.

So I began to think God was crazy

and now I know how it feels

to be him.

I am like a prophet

who can’t be understood

because not even God is understood

not even by me

as I remember now

why I held a grudge.

I’d cry and look up at the night sky

remember why I started to doubt you

because no one ever listened

so I kept it to myself

for you only to reveal more and more

while I felt like I was going crazy.

Now I forgive you

it’s what we both needed to do

forgive each other

and let go of grudges

because now I don’t care

if anyone listens

or if anyone cares

all that matters is that we grow

from all these misunderstandings.

I’m not here to push an agenda

I’m just saying the things

I’ve been wanting to

since I was a little girl.

When I was first shown things

that can’t be explained

but here it would be called a breakdown

a collapse of reality.

That’s fine with me

it can be our little secret

you know I was upset

as I cursed you

for making me this way

when all I wanted to do was be normal

my whole life….

but now I know that’s not how you made me

I am meant to be free

free from being normal

free of resentments and grudges

towards you…

I no longer blame you

or look for signs.

You are within me

forever confined.

 

(Copyright kerrious 2015 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; Breathe

I have no religion

only ideals

I never claimed to be anything

other than the truth

the truth as it occurs to me

from experience alone

throughout my life

I’ve been taking notes

to find my truth

I know my truth

is not your truth

but there is something universal about it

the way it all came to me

on it’s own

because I was searching.

I have no religion

my religion is truth

it’s what I believe

because it happened to me.

In my depths of despair

I always came up for air

something was always there

and when I didn’t need to breathe anymore

something else was doing it for me.

When I didn’t want to live

something else was keeping me alive

So I’ll take that as a sign

a sign of my truth

I must be here for a reason

even though I want to go

but I am in no hurry

I’ll take what you gave me

and continue to live

because I know

that’s all you have to give

is the life that I live.

 

(copyright Kerrious 2015 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; Angel

It’s like we all have a master

to claim our soul

when we’re feeling down

they hold us up

on the verge of a breakdown

they reveal themselves

if you take away your ability to think

you take away their communication

and maybe we all have masters

to show us our way

to help us along

you were wearing a red dress

and your wings were big and white

you let me see you

in a picture I did not take.

Maybe they look after us

through dreams and stories

after all I’ve been through

you showed me what’s true.

You came into the pit of my stomach

to make me feel all the pain

not just mine but other’s as well

there’s so much pain here

and it’s not mine to carry

it makes me too weary

so I go to you

my master…

my angel.

There I can fly

and move objects with my mind

tackling those who wield a false sword

staying true to the word

there I will learn

because it’s my turn.

 

(Copyright Kerrious 2015 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; Feel Something

I paid my dues

that’s why you opened up to me

I began to hear you

sensed you around

you spoke to me

in a familiar voice

I did nothing but listen

to what you were teaching me.

You said I paid my dues

that I was cheap

for giving away my secrets

secrets I uncovered on my path towards love

through love I learned

unconditional love

and paid my karmic dues.

You insisted I share

what I have found

so that’s what I did

and I expect nothing in return

because I know

I am owed nothing

nothing of this world

I won’t ask for anything

until I get to your world.

There my words will be understood

that’s where I belong

in another world

all that I ask for here

is that you feel something

anything….

from my words.

 

(copyright Kerrious2015 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; You Can Leave Your Body

I told you right before you went

that you could leave your body

before the pain.

You took my words as truth

for once in your life

and you learned to leave your body

so peacefully.

I made it there just in time

you were at the end

I let you know

everything would be alright

as you apologized

for past mistakes.

I said I forgive you

without hesitation

I knew I was there

to help you

transition into your next adventure.

I still see you in my dreams

we take walks and have talks

we sit in your living room

like old times

like you are still there

somewhere

and I think you learned

through death

just how to live

how to merge yourself

into another world

as you left your body

before the pain took it’s toll

you went so peacefully

and I couldn’t ask for more.

In the end

we use our will

to move on.

(copyright Kerrious 2015 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; The Astral

Like a mystic I was

saying things I don’t remember

Like a conduit

for others

but who were they?

Like a psychic I was

seeing the future

and the warning signs

hearing the end

like it was real

but it wasn’t real

just what I needed to hear.

I felt and heard the waves crash

the volcanoes explode

and the soldiers on foot

all around the house.

Visions of past lives

where I once survived

and maybe even died

by such traumatic events.

I was to slay a dragon

but could never kill.

Like a projectionist I was

hovering over our bed

never leaving your side

until you were better.

Instead it made me sick

but I could handle it

I’d take the fall for us all

transmuting the pain

through the astral I traveled

day and night

just to have you

wouldn’t you want that too?

 

(copyright Kerrious 2015 with all rights reserved).

I’ve Learned; Lights

When I looked at the moon

I felt you looking at it too

as if we both

were doing the same thing

at the same time,

thinking about each other,

Missing each other

because we loved each other.

Almost threw it away

until the day

I couldn’t live without you.

I had never been so happy

not in my entire life

and it was taken from me

in an instant

while I was in control of nothing

not a bit of it.

I felt my heart break

I felt the love disappear

to only resurface

when you decided to see clear.

We woke up laughing everyday

and throughout my life

I never had that before

So please don’t label me

with your past

I started brand new

why couldn’t you?

So I’ll just look at the moon

knowing you are too

maybe at the same time

you were never mine

as we both belonged to everyone

until we woke up

and realized

all that didn’t matter

not anymore.

Shining lights

floating through the air

only I could see them

what were they telling me?

I still don’t know

except I never loved anyone

the way I loved you

it’s like I always knew

this day would come.

I am like the lights

that float in the air

I am like the moon

who hangs there

I admire you

and all that you know

can’t you see

how much I loved you?

would do anything for you?

I think it was something

that needed to happen

we were lost in our love

we needed to break free

and share our love

with others.

And maybe those lights

jolted us awake

to only say

there is no other way

to reach true love

If we wanted what we created

we would have to be ripped apart

to heal in ourselves

what was keeping us apart.

To only find each other again

and realize what we have

and our purpose

is to give it away

as easily as we received it

is as easily as we can share it.

Although I worked hard

to find love

It all came so easy.

Like the lights

which dissipated in time

we too will disappear

but our love you can hear….

forever

for infinity

for all of time

only true love remains

after the lights are gone.

(Copyright Kerrious 2015 with all rights reserved).

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