When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air

I wonder

That since God knows

What they did to me is what

They’d do to him

I wonder why I don’t turn

To the enemy

Because they were never mine enemy

To begin with

Never did I listen

Or do what they say

And since they aren’t my enemy

I can’t even turn to them in vengeance

Towards God

Not even out of anger

Can I….

And Therein lies the mystery

His mystery

To protect me

But when I try to find some selfish part

Of God

It is the not knowing

I’m not used to

It is the lack

Of communication

But I see…

That even when I try to find a way

To rage war with God

I cannot

I can try to hurt myself to spite him

But after being saved

What’s the point

I can beg for death

I can beg not to exist

I can lash out

But I’m still stuck here

And by no accord did I have to learn that

But I really don’t want to be here

And that is the selfish part of God

Not taking me

That his plans have to be unfolding

To keep me here

Yet I don’t care

I have to train myself to give a shit

Yet there’s beauty

That makes me

Not some promise of a future

But the need to follow through

On his individual plans with me

That only I understand

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