i don’t think invading my privacy deserves sympathy or a prize. not at all. you took something from me that i will get back because i know these words won’t be appreciated until years from now not like i’m going to lose it over being a writer. that as a no body i have no privacy therefore bringing awareness to a global problem that are privacy is being striped and used against us in terrorist attacks and i’m seriously going to get it back through any means possible that all that technology and resources you have that could catch rapists and murderers are used to target innocent unknowns to act as muses to your billion dollar estates used to take advantage of what society deems as the mentally ill therefore you think we are too therefore knowing you are bullying someone with a mental illness and a misdiagnosis exposed you for what it’s worth. that i’m always undercover and everything works in my favor in the end and no matter what you do to manipulate the situation or change it to work in your favor you can’t turn back time and change the past and convince me it didn’t happen and convince me i’m ill now or convince me that i’m the problem. but being undercover has exposed me to a disgusting bunch of people who use whatever they can to demean people and condescend who they deem inferior to them to make them feel better about themselves and ride my coattails of emotions to only try to manipulate them as a form of mind control and acting that is piss poor without a script to recite. but everything backfires and a dream came true a very courageous dream and oppurtunity to write about something i’m passionate about and save mentally ill people from the very thing they tried to do to me because they are my friends and family and really there’s no such thing as mental illness just a sick society but i think murder and rape are the only illness that need a vaccine around here. wherever the wind takes me is what i do and the power trips that they took which intentions to harm me is what i remember. harm me and love it is what they do. but the point is i’m tenacious and i was straight to war and fuck everyone that interfered and thought it was appropriate to toss me around like a rag doll although it was quite the adventure the audacity of those that have the ability to help people use it only to make them worse and sell them out to drug companies for life instead of providing cures they provide a lifelong addiction while calling you an addict and punishing you by not giving you the least evasive route as if one bad day defines the rest of your life or that you are ruined because of a bad experience or situation that they find it impossible for people to redeem themselves and bounce back on their feet and are so used to the system tossing people away that they do it to with no remorse or consequences to their actions and they should have all their medical licenses taken away for good because that’s not what they are taught. they are taught ethics yet don’t follow them and never providing the accurate treatment or doing their jobs. it’s just disappointing to see so many lives ruined because of naivity and trusting doctors. ethically they are murderers of people’s lives and minds causing the most harm possible pushing an agenda by drug companies while witholding real cures while i suffer in pain from something that has a cure yet no one will give it to me for unknown reasons other than to get me hooked for life. they contradict themselves with excuses and refuse to do anything about it and when we do the data they collect is used against us even though it’s an attempt to get rid of pain just for one day. can we not have just one day without the pain since you deny us the cures. on a scale of one to ten my pain is a ten while they hold on to the cure and give me pills for a misdiagnosis which allows me to think they are abusing their power and acting like saints when in reality they are evil as fuck. so i have to train myself everyday not to feel pain and i have to spend every second of my existence fighting this pain they have a cure for preventing me from working and doing anything at all actually. no one wants to walk around wondering when the next panic attack will come while they remain relentless on supplying me with any cure due to fear of losing their lisense when in reality with holding cures and misdiagnosis and continueing to treat that misdiagnosis should make them lose their licenses that they really are stupid and don’t think for themselves. so i may die because of that. but instead i have to spend my time meditating and training myself not to hurt and feel pain and constantly dealing with that yet they won’t give me disability. it’s one or the other people. but fuck them both. literally. they are disgusting murderers. and shouldn’t even be doctors anyway dealing with things they will never understand or at least do the research to understand in a manner to treat the paitents cheif complaint instead of their googly eyes that are blind. blind enough they need glasses so i can’t imagine they have a clue. so its true when people say they with hold cures while selling you to drug companies therefore taking advantage the mentally ill in the process while going home to their families and pretending to be healers. they are nothing near what they think they are they are closer to murderers and treating people like property and judging you according to retarded scientists that probably experimented on someone without their consent to get the so call truth! when no one is going to give you the truth if they know you are experiementing on them without their consent and i hope you fucking rot in hell. oh boy i can’t wait, honestly false healers can rest in peace. you know, i’m tired real tired and if this pain is forceing me to tell the truth so be it , if this pain and suffering is forcing me to put my big girl panties on and tell you to your face that you are going to hell so be it. and if that makes me crazy in their eyes so be it because everyone’s crazy but them right and everyone a meal ticket to their next mansion and peice of shit families. but anyway if this pain is the source of my truth then everything happens for a reason and i do deserve some days without pain and i do deserve the cure but if they with hold God opens better doors and my dream will come to true the path of true healingwill arise in my midst to be a healer myself one day. i’m like a mad scientist sometimes. but the point is despite them this pain is directed like the weapens they point at us and it probably goes back to the original source so i can’t mask it if i want true healing. and i don’t feel bad about saying that but they can dish it but they can’t take it. and if only people knew how to cope with the harm others done to them that they can get their stuff back too. wouldn’t want anyone to go without. so the lesson is don’t dish it if you can’t take it . but i don’t deserve to be targeted and i’m serious that i will use drastic measures and the pain will only reveal truth you do not want to hear and findings i can’t feel bad for saying. but even if you escape God will find you whether it be today tomorrow or ten years from now, you can’t escape the flames and i’ve got way different flames than you . and this pain is not mine to feel that you are the ones that performed witchcraft on me, remember?! so you’ll get your stuff back don’t worry. i’ll show you the darkness you so desire to call yourselves except darkness wouldn’t even accept you that the only thing accepting you is evil and you are only the cast of our enemies and nothing can change that now. no amount of sucking up can deny that you performed witchcraft on me and you have no clue.