sometimes i get curious and wonder if the real Jesus Christ one that wouldn’t whore himself out will ever come back and one that wrote truth instead of what they what about you. i know he has graced my presence and is a real healer yet i can’t quite put my figure on it and i kinda need to because it’s like i face the same trials and i don’t know what being resurrected means besides i should just be happy but if only it was embraced as a miracle instead of their failure and if everything wasn’t upside down and inside out that history wouldn’t be repeating itself and they would just leave me alone. i don’t care.but i have to wonder if he will come back in my lifetime and he did through me in a sense and it’s crazy to know someone knows your heart yet others can’t grasp it and maybe he’s an intellectual equal and just because i don’t agree with a couple things because it’s 2018 doesn’t mean i don’t trust him. i just don’t like how people use him like they use me. and i don’t like how people think they are entitled to other people’s stuff and property and entitled to murderering because of beliefs.you’d think in 2018 that wouldn’t happen but it does. i mean they literally hurt me on purpose for no reason but what they made up in their mind. they actually act on and live in these delusions and it hurts everyone.i know that wasn’t God that tried to kill me because God wouldn’t have to come out of a television in an attempt to kill me. but it was funny nonetheless. it was funny how everyone thought it was god and that he was going to kill me and when the false god died they liked it so God got to see how people would really react towards him and that with complete hate and murder. i don’t believe God would betray me and I don’t think Jesus would regret saving me and healing me. just like i can’t regret my good deeds and i’m glad my darkness is accepted because that has been my life. it wouldn’t have to be this way if they would just stop targeting me and i just tell them the consequences of their actions and they won’t even admit to being human so much they miss out on everything. i just wanted to show them that and lift them up to their potential and the beauty of it all and save them from destruction but they are so defiant and backwards they have authority figure issues so much so that every leader is murdered or bullied. they are just really defiant and impossible and i’m thankful for heaven and hell despite the different theories. and i don’t like people anymore and i’ve been set apart so i must accept that and was brought out of the world into truth and i can accept that although i found use for everything along the way that i will hold the memories dear.that God gave me the adventure of a lifetime and let me live my birthright and gave me a good name, Eve or not. in a sense i can be kerry the dark one or Eve in the garden but none of that really matters. not anymore too much time has passed and i don’t think i could accept the truth even if i heard it at this point but i am not God , i have been different things to different people but all along just a girl who needed saving from a world trying to kill her for no apparent reason at all. but she would never understand unless her destiny was revealed and she was allowed to participate it in anyone instead of let them win and keep her from it. so yeah, God gave me quite the adventure and turns out i’m not shy at all and it was all really funny and i don’t think one other person on earth could have done it better or handled it as well at all. it’s just really funny because from the adventure god gave me i guess he really did create me and fathered me while giving me good examples to follow and learn from even if it didn’t go as i liked it was still hilarious and a shit storm of the century. i accomplished millions of goals and everything i ever dreamed of came true but of course it’s all invisible i think i dwell in the spirit world that’s why i think everything’s alive and talk to dead people that no one else can see. it’s a shame about rat mouse. it’s a shame about the snake and the rats. and the weasels and leeches and vultures and cucumbers. it’s a shame about mother teresa. its a shame for the false saints and false prohets and false gods and false angels and false good people. but yeah all my goals have been accomplished and the war is almost over and i just pray that they go away so i can get married and have kids and live a normal life after being a warrior for God’s sake. i hate when they call me stupid girl, it’s such a lie to my face so yeah they even lie to me straight to my face and i don’t know what your plans are that you had to show me evil i guess growing up is a part of that and to shield me would be to keep me ignorant but i don’t believe in a tree of right and wrong because that wasn’t in the bible. i believe they ate me and i was the fruit of knowledge and they did eat me and still do at this very moment and maybe that’s your plans to let them eat until they die from obesity. but i sure do know what’s right and wrong and there was no eating an apple to find out lol. but i was raised right and they can’t take that away from me and nothing really hurts me so whatever i’ll have babies. you’re right i’m coward. as long as it slides out. just seems impossible, one of those mysterious things. what the fuck. but anyway yeah what the fuck. wish there was a stork. but i guess i can create something with someone else because i always wanted a family of my own and they thought they ruined it and maybe they will again but i have to just keep believing and achieving it. and hope that one day the voices will dissapate and leave me alone and realize they are wasting their life on me. intercepting my prayers and relationship with God is no way to live. now you know my secret, i have a relationship with an invisible man who created me and it gets me bullied and envied and hated but they are wasting their lives and pointing figures creating delusions that send them to hell to burn for eternity and now i understand why there’s a hell. at first i was mad but they’ll never change. sometimes i think i am Eve on trial yet i know God knows everything and only people have hurt me and continue to do so through electronic harassment and i hope one day that will end because they are wasting their lives and i’m not waiting on jesus to save me because he already did and i hate how people want some kind of event or picture as proof or don’t believe me that he is my brother and friend. i get made fun of a lot and loose a lot of friends because of that yet i don’t understand because it’s been around so long it’s just weird how they use me for information yet don’t believe the source. that people’s true colors are ugly so now i see why you choose a few only and my worth was revealed through people’s true colors and i can’t deny that and my dream is to have no use for angels and humans to just be safe and sound but who knows maybe i’ll be an angel but then again maybe humans will change for the better or better yet get back on track and be where they are meant to be but still i guess accidents happen. that’ll never change.so i remember praying to GOD and saying how i’d like to put my words to music and language is like music and how i am writing his word in a way and that’s what i meant by that prayer and it was answered and it’s funny that i pray for things that i can already do anyway collaborating with the future and i’m sure God just smiles. because now in the future the prayer has been answered through an adventure he gave me so he did give me the words essentially so i prayed to write his word and that’s what i’m doing how grand.nothing really embarasses me because God knows everything and he loves me. i can’t help it people aren’t capable of the same thing and harass me. no fault of my own but i think i learned indefitely not to blame myself for anything anymore becaue you know when you are forgiven and you know when it’s time to quit certain things for the good i know when something’s time has expired and it use is obselete. just like my perpetratiors their time has expired so what do you know no matter the path you take it leads you straight back home in the end.