Kerrious

In the darkness, where I wants thought i met God. Is the exact same place of self sabotage. A voice that tells the enemy how to kill me and the thoughts of doing it myself. Only I can defeat myself and only I have the tools to do so. The more I am tortured the more I give them the tools. Why wants something I thought was beautiful is now the death of me? And death is also beautiful. Do I feed them lies? Why do they insist? Nothing makes sense until years later anyway. But in the darkness I know who loves me. And they do not. The voices do not love me they use anything against me. And I can blame it on self sabotage but why do I have to fight anyway? I did not asked to fight them they brought this on themselves. I don’t think they ever thought they would meet their match or someone not willing to fall for it. Someone that wouldn’t sell out to save their lives. Someone that wouldn’t sell out to save their own life. So the self sabotage comes as another blessing and I get to stay true to myself whether I live or die? I will die staying true to myself even if it’s in the darkness because there I met God and I know he will be there for me. That the voices will vanish and all the pain will be gone sometimes I think that’s what I want because they are relentless And hell-bent on destroying me. So I can destroy myself first. They have no power whatsoever unless I choose to give it to them and when I test them they sure as hell use it to hurt me which makes them no different than anybody from my past. And I can out run an escape my past but they follow me punishing me because they think they have the right To not let me have a new life . A hidden agenda to keep me down despite me rising. A 24 seven silent Holocaust. And I am Anne Frank. And I know what happened to her. But even in this darkness I find God. So when they asked me where is my god now? No longer in the darkness. So I must follow.