I Don’t Know why
I don’t know why
you had such a change of heart
I don’t know why
you thought you could
have more than one girl.
I don’t know why
you think anyone would put up with that
if they really loved you.
I don’t know why
you attacked me
for days and days
I don’t know why
you were so enraged
you strangled me
four times
before I called the cops
and I don’t know why
the cops just let you go
to come back
and strangle me again
this time
with a bed sheet
while I was sleeping.
I don’t know
why you wanted me to feel trapped
I don’t know why
you told you’re friends
I was abusive
when that is what you were doing to me.
I don’t know why
they believed it
I don’t know why
you snapped one day
I don’t know why
I’m barely alive.
I don’t know why
you called your mistress
to save you
and have her dad
come with you
to get your motorcycle
I bought you
as a special gift
just for you.
I don’t know why
I spent any money on you
or time
or thought I was so love in with you.
I don’t know why
I still am in love with you
how despite all that
I understand you
and want nothing more
than to run back to you
take the chance
you’ll snap again
because all the good times
were worth those days
you weren’t yourself
and blamed me for everything.
I don’t know why
you wanted to destroy us
destroy love
that’s how you became
my enemy
was because you destroyed love
one thing I can’t look past
and move on with you
so I move on without you
trying to find someone
who won’t try to destroy love
or me or themselves.
I don’t know why
at all…
I just think
how much I want
to wake up
and see you at my bedside
as I jumped up instantly
to give you a hug.
I was so happy and in love
nothing could phase me.
now I can die of heartbreak
and almost did too.
I just think
jumping up to give you a hug
would make me feel better
and kissing you would too.
how I never kissed anyone
the way I kissed you
for the last time.
but you were too blind to see
my best kiss was our last
you were too blind to see
how much I loved you
and would do anything for you
not to keep you
but to see you happy
because I was happy
and wanted to reciprocate.
I don’t know why
you broke things off
the way you did
as if it was war
and you spread lies about me
just like the last abusive ex
how you couldn’t take
responsibility for assault
and blamed it on me
how you couldn’t handle
the responsibility of love
at all….
I may have almost died a lot
but now I know
I’m not the one dying
you are
inside and outside
of me.
anywhere I find you
I will murder the thought
I will have no excuses
to look back
I don’t know why
you wanted it this way
and I don’t know why
you call me months later
as if I would talk to you
after the way you handled
what could of been
a mature break up
with a conversation
instead of you trying to kill me.
I don’t know why
you do these things to yourself
and I can’t save you
I don’t know why
I thought I could make you better
since I was better with you.
I don’t know why
you destroyed my happiness
my life and love.
And i’m not going to search
for the answers.
I’ll let your actions
be the deciding factor
and the way you treated me
is unforgivable
undeniably heartbreaking
not heart felt.
poor girl
poor girl
poor girl.
