Voices
i remember
the clouds
the flares
guns
and fireworks
i remember
the blue kachina
the twins
on each side
i remember
the star ships
hovering
always above me.
i remember
talking to them
and crying.
I remember
the violet kachina
so big in the sky
for a short time.
i remember
all the signs
the creatures
the lies.
through my eyes
truth is found
but even that
can be intruded on
intercepted
to mean something else
to somebody, anybody
but me.
that’s what they want.
i remember
the planes
following me
and my eyes
i remember
their demise.
I remember
the shooting stars
the light spirits
comforting me
letting me know
they can’t get me
I remember
light beings dancing around
showing themselves to me
I remember
i’m ready
I remember
it all.
I remember how
we used to make light
but now it’s just one
me.
i remember
everything they did
and said
it just doesn’t matter
I remember
the stars
how Jesus visited me one day
and how I flew into my body
from the dream world
to heal my inner child
I remember
the sacrifices
the work
and progress.
I remember
needing you
and you woke up my heart
I remember
it’s all real
how I am not forsaken
not for one minute
I remember
how I try to make you feel bad
when I’ve had enough
too much to handle
I remember
all that I worked for
all that I did
I remember
you exploding my heart
and that I owe you.
I remember
it caught the attention
of the enemy
and how they tried to frame me
to look bad in your eyes
I remember
the drugs being planted
so my family would turn against me
I remember
the radiation seeping through
my solar plexus.
I remember
we already won
from the beginning.
When will this residue
stop appearing in my life?
when will it vanish?
why must they put their lives in my hands?
Father,
I can not bare the responsibility
for I’d make them disappear.
Dear God,
help me
I don’t deserve the voices
not at all.
I don’t deserved to be used
molested and raped.
I don’t deserve to be pulled in
to lose everything.
I don’t deserve to lose
I deserve to win
my life back.
to get rid of them
the voices
forever.
It’s not like they’re angels
and it’s not like they care
about me
or anyone.
It’s not like their God
it’s not like I want them here
None of it makes sense
but If I know you
it will make perfect sense
one day
so far away….
(copyright Kerrious 2016 with all rights reserved)
