When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air


i remember

the clouds

the flares


and fireworks

i remember

the blue kachina

the twins

on each side

i remember

the star ships


always above me.

i remember

talking to them

and crying.

I remember

the violet kachina

so big in the sky

for a short time.

i remember

all the signs

the creatures

the lies.

through my eyes

truth is found

but even that

can be intruded on


to mean something else

to somebody, anybody

but me.

that’s what they want.

i remember

the planes

following me

and my eyes

i remember

their demise.

I remember

the shooting stars

the light spirits

comforting me

letting me know

they can’t get me

I remember

light beings dancing around

showing themselves to me

I remember

i’m ready

I remember

it all.

I remember how

we used to make light

but now it’s just one


i remember

everything they did

and said

it just doesn’t matter

I remember

the stars

how Jesus visited me one day

and how I flew into my body

from the dream world

to heal my inner child

I remember

the sacrifices

the work

and progress.

I remember

needing you

and you woke up my heart

I remember

it’s all real

how I am not forsaken

not for one minute

I remember

how I try to make you feel bad

when I’ve had enough

too much to handle

I remember

all that I worked for

all that I did

I remember

you exploding my heart

and that I owe you.

I remember

it caught the attention

of the enemy

and how they tried to frame me

to look bad in your eyes

I remember

the drugs being planted

so my family would turn against me

I remember

the radiation seeping through

my solar plexus.

I remember

we already won

from the beginning.

When will this residue

stop appearing in my life?

when will it vanish?

why must they put their lives in my hands?


I can not bare the responsibility

for I’d make them disappear.

Dear God,

help me

I don’t deserve the voices

not at all.

I don’t deserved to be used

molested and raped.

I don’t deserve to be pulled in

to lose everything.

I don’t deserve to lose

I deserve to win

my life back.

to get rid of them

the voices


It’s not like they’re angels

and it’s not like they care

about me

or anyone.

It’s not like their God

it’s not like I want them here

None of it makes sense

but If I know you

it will make perfect sense

one day

so far away….


(copyright Kerrious 2016 with all rights reserved)

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