I’ve Learned; Dreamer
I do not have writer’s block,
I am just scared of what I’d find.
Millions of unanswered questions and thousands of solutions.
Finding the positive in even the worse situations.
How can I be like this?
I took it all and made it something grand.
I took all your flaws and told you you were a man.
I was lying to myself first and then to you.
I didn’t want to puncture this picture I drew.
I let you in and hated that fact.
I didn’t want to turn back.
I had done it before, a dozen times before.
Never thought you’d be the one to betray me.
No matter what I do I just can’t win.
I lost it all before and this time it’s okay.
I knew all along and should have listened to my instincts.
Why do I attract the likes of you?
They say it’s because I’m a good person and parasites need to feed.
But I absorb myself into love so much that I think that it’s me.
I hope you could see. I hope I could just be me.
I hope I can remember this feeling forever.
I am alive. I am happy.
My soul has been made intact and how that happened, I really don’t know.
Something happened in a year to make me feel whole again.
Yes, sometimes I get sad and lonely, but I know it’s for the best.
I have learned so much and can only feel more.
I am not crazy, not by your terms.
I tried to label myself for too long.
I am evolving. Why me? It’s out of my control.
Maybe I made the decision years ago.
It has been so long since I’ve wrote anything. I am tired of holding it all in. but honestly I have nothing to write. That is the scary thing. I am changing. I do not know why. I want to write. But I dream instead.
(Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved). written in 2013. mapping out my awakening in order to help others find their way.