Kerrious

When Curiosity Doesn't Kill You……YOU LEARN. More Than Just a Breathe of Fresh Air

What I’ve Learned About Memories; A View

 

We can’t erase our memories unless of course for some of the reasons that they can be but we shouldn’t wish we could erase the memories of the past wrong doings of others put upon you, any traumatic event that was out of your control or anything about us. Instead, we should learn to forget how it made us feel. Most likely they are false memories anyway, probably twisted with coping mechanisms. Or real memories that seem false. So who is to say those memories are true to begin with? If they are false memories then the feelings we associated with them aren’t real either. Feelings we fight with to begin with are because we struggle to understand or cope at the time of the experience. Instead we forge grudges, resentments, false accusations, misunderstandings, projections, all kinds of things to get us through the next day in order not to face in ourselves what it was that is really going on. Feelings can be healed so if we recognize where those feelings came from in the first place. The core of the experience or memory, then we can see more clearly as to why we react a certain way in the present due to past situations. That’s the illusion. For example, feelings from being hurt by love; but if that so called ‘love’ wasn’t really love or wasn’t really mutual, then it wasn’t really love and it doesn’t warrant the hurt we cause ourselves and the memories we see as better than they actually were just because at one point you felt great love for that person. From being hurt we hold false beliefs until we realize what we felt wasn’t actually real at all but a collection feelings we thought we had because our memories tell us so. We can’t erase our memories but we can understand them in order to realize they aren’t such a burden after all. If we can see more clearly, as they say, hindsight is 20/20, then we can see that sometimes our feelings weren’t about that person at all! So, in conclusion, and in short, I have learned it is a waste of time to think that if our memories could somehow be manipulated we would somehow be happy and you name it. But I’d like to keep all of me and on the way I’ve found this. Real memories are easier to distinguish from false ones or pieces. That’s why families are great because we all remember different pieces that make the whole. It’s hard work but possible. I don’t always remember what I have learned but it’s complicated. Another thing I’ve learned, resentments and revenge are a waste of time because of the past and that is a whole other topic for another time, but trust me. I’ve learned to let go of control, so I will elaborate on each topic in another post because I need to let go of control to explain everything and leave this post about memories. 😉

Overall, I think if we stop focusing on trying to change the past and the memories associated with negative belief systems growing up, trauma, pain, anything we wish didn’t happen or don’t like. Instead we need to face those feelings as they come and realize we can change the way we feel by acknowledging the fact that it isn’t the past anymore, then go to the core of the problem so that the next time you can react different and eventually the negative feelings associated with a memory won’t be an issue. I guess this is what you find out when you can look back at all the heart ache, pain, and trauma, with a way that says, you were wrong without hurting yourself by trying to act on those past memories then feelings, if they are even true at all! Because it only hurts you when you warrant revenge instead of taking responsibility for your feelings and where they come from.That is when you know you are getting somewhere, and that is far.

If you get rid of any unpleasant or uncomfortable memory then how will you know how good it feels when the past actually makes sense? When the past comes around full circle to show you that it wasn’t all in vain. When it becomes a part of you and no longer a catalyst for pain. When you become an adult, and a change you wish to see in the world. (Thanks Buddha). The memory is also good for remembering the right words! And how will you ever know when all you ever wanted, despite the pain, makes an appearance? Will you even take notice? Take notice of the new that is being integrated into your life? I’d rather have my life instead of the ignorance of a new one.

(Copyright Kerrious 2014 with all rights reserved).

the day after I wrote this, my horoscope had lyrics from this song relating to memories and the ability to free myself from images and feelings that I no longer wish to be troubled by. How appropriate….so i shall leave you with them. ❤

“Our romance won’t end on a sorrowful note
Though by tomorrow you’re gone
The song has ended but as the song writer wrote
The melody lingers on
They may take you from me
I’ll miss your fond caress
But though they take you from me
I’ll still possess

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No no they can’t take that away from me

The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you changed my life
No no they can’t take that away from me

We may never never meet again
On the bumpy road to love
Still I’ll always always keep the memory of

The way you hold your knife
The way we danced ’til three
The way you changed my life
No no they can’t take that away from me
No they can’t take that away from me”

-Gershwin Ira

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